One Eye on the Future

Arrggh! Who needs an eyepatch, matey, when Ah only gots da one eye, donchaknow?  If'n I had an eye patch on me one eye, I could'na see me whiskers afore me face!  How silly would DAT be?  I'd be a-walkin' off planks an ' the ends 'o piers an ' runnin' into da walls an ' a-fallin' down da steps an ' into barrels 'o rum 'n grog 'n margaritas!  Hey wai t, that part might not be so ba d ... Ahoy! Scuppers! Mizzenmast ! Cutlass! Shiver me timbers! Let's go walk the plank!  What the heck am I SAYING?!  Avast!  Gimme da gooshy fuds an ' no one gets hurt! An ' Ah'm takin' back me blog-o, so I am!  Dose kittens haf had enuff publicity!  It's MY blog, so it 'tis, ye scurvy upstarts!   Get yer own or face da perils 'o Davie Jones' lockerz 'n stuff!   Or worse yet, Ah'll toss ye into d is heah landlubbin' dryer so ya get all tumbly and come out all a-staggerin' like'n ye h...

Rachel:  Hey there!  Ya'll g ot anyt hing that needs scupperin'?  'Cuz we can scupp er just about any thing! Ray:  Rachel, don't be silly.  Y ou don't even know what 'scuppering' i nvolves.  *flicks ta il, thoughtfully bats a lint ball on the floor*  Besides, ya gotta say "Arrrggh" before you say anything else. Rachel:  How come? Ray:  It's "Meow Like a P irate Day" that's how come. Rachel:  *looks at her right paw with a frown *  Where'd this cutlass come from? Ray:  You be careful with that thing - it's shar p! Rachel:  * looking annoyed*  I will, I will !   Don't boss me around or I'll make you walk the plan k!  O K, l et me try this:  A ARR GGHH!  Hey, that's pretty fun!  Now YOU try! Ray:  *clears throat*  Aarrgghh! Rachel:  No, no no !  With more FEELING ! Ray:  AARRGGHH! Rachel:  Well you don't have t o yell ..... *This went on for...